FWE: Frequently Written Edits
In my extensive (*snort*) editing experience, I have realized that I have given many people the same writing advice and I thought I'd save everyone the trouble and post some of it here!
1. Contractions make your dialogue seem more believable and real.
Sam Thornton walked into Emerson High with a swagger in his step and a smug smile on his face. He propped himself up against the lockers next to Ashley Lake, the school babe, and flipped on the charm switch. "Hey babe, you are looking so good today. What are you doing later?"
Ashley turned to Sam and glared down her perfect nose at him. "I cannot hang out with you, Sam."
"Oh, why, toots?"
"I need to help my parents get ready to leave for Wyoming. They are leaving tomorrow."
What's wrong with this dialogue? It sounds almost robotic and not like anything real teenagers would say. Combining as many words as you can without making the speech sound slurred and drunken will help your dialogue sound more realistic. So here's that dialogue edited.
Sam Thornton walked into Emerson High with a swagger in his step and a smug smile on his face. He propped himself up against the lockers next to Ashley Lake, the school babe, and flipped on the charm switch. "Hey babe, you're looking so good today. What're you doing later?"
Ashley turned to Sam and glared down her perfect nose at him. "I can't hang out with you, Sam."
"Oh, why, toots?"
"I need to help my parents get ready to leave for Wyoming. They're leaving tomorrow."
12:31 PM
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1 comments:
Try this "article" out on fictionpress.com.
http://www.fictionpress.com/s/1722620/1/Ruathas_Grammar_Review
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